When You’re Single, All You’re Looking For Is….
I’m newly hooked on How I Met Your Mother (yes, I’m slow), and here was a quote from an episode I watched yesterday:
“When you’re single, all you’re looking for is happily ever after. But only one of your stories can end that way. The rest end with someone getting hurt.”
And since statistically, the chances of happily ever after happening isn’t high, why do we enter our newest relationship thinking that it’ll be happily ever after?
We should enter them thinking it’s going to end in hurt and then being pleasantly surprised if it ends up happily ever after. Helps manage expectations.
Y’think?
That’s why sometimes it pays being pessimistic, you have lower expectations of everything, just try your best and then be pleasantly surprised when they turn out better than you thought.
Disappointingly cynical. But probably the truest assessment anyone can make. Though my counter argument will be, if we have lower nay negative expectations aren’t we setting ourselves up for failure. Self fulfilling prophecies and all that.
i ought to write a blog entry in reply to this lest i flood your comment box. thing the bottomline should be to NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING IN A RELATIONSHIP (i’d bold but i don’t think your comment box accepts html).
because if you went in without expectations, you’re less likely prepping yourself for a fall or whichever comes first.
YOU ARE SO FRIGGING SLOW! ARGH!
(ignoring all content to just flame)
YOU SLOW!
@Hendri: Definitely agreed.
@Jerrick: Did I disappoint you sir? I lost my idealism years ago! I don’t know about the self-fulfilling prophecy bit, but I think it would add a healthy dose of reality into the relationship?
@Yin: Whoa angst much?
Okay write a blog entry in response! From the female point of view! As much as I do agree, I think having expectations is normal in a relationship. Just lower them and keep them practical.
@the fiancee: I am going to ignore you.
@Krisandro: tmd. I know what this is about! I don’t comment on your blog enough and you want me to flame you there right!
dude that show, apart from all the comedy, deals with some really serious issues. in my downtime, it didn’t seem like a comedy to me. but it’s the best show i’ve seen in ages. u should check out the office too.
Agree with Jerrick about self-fulfilling prophecies. After all, happiness is a lot of hard work - if you don’t have the goal of happily-ever-after in mind, what’s going to motivate you to put in any effort at all?
@Jonny: I agree man. Not everything is funny! Ok ok Office soon!
@Le Raine: I think it’s okay to like want things to end happily ever after, but should it not, it shouldn’t be like the world is ending or this huge surprise. Because… yeah, only one of them can end that way. It’s like having dreams with a healthy dose of reality. Or maybe that’s the cynic in me speaking.
I think maybe the right choice of words is key here… “thinking its going to end up in hurt” is setting expectations that everything will flop. But keeping in mind the possibility that things won’t work out and trying for the best anyway is way different - kind of like my situation now.
i don’t see how entering a relationship with the mindset that it will fail can be healthy. why waste your time anyway then?
although it would be ridiculous to listen to me considering my extensive dating resume (1). haha
@Le Raine: Yeah I’m inclined to agree. Maybe not necessarily end in hurt, but not work out. But definitely not enter thinking it’s going to be happily ever after. You could start thinking that halfway, but not starting out.
@Reuben: You don’t enter with the mindset that it WILL fail. You just realistically acknowledge that it is a very, very possible outcome. If we were doing statistics it would be like E(possibility of failing) = high. Yes you’re a dating anomaly!
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